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Thursday, September 27, 2007

Arguing is not just a monologue...

"When arguing with family, Spence suggested that the goal should not be to win.
Arguing with someone close to you isn't about winning. It's about restoring that emotional balance."
I found this in Karl's blog.
I couldn't agree more.
For me arguing, discussing is mostly done for the sake of it.
I really couldn't live without a nice, lively, good discussion a day.
It is my soul's, my mind's bread.
So much that I tend to be very provocative (some time too much I agree).
I like to say the opposite of what they say.
And find right arguments on my side.
That is usually not so difficult, since everything is never black or white.
Very often the color depends from where you see it.

In principle colors are what they are depending from the light they get.
The same happens to arguments.
"We argue to balance out our emotions again. We use words to reposition our feelings. We feel bad, so we argue until we believe somebody else sees and accepts our point, then we can feel good again."
These are Karl Moore' words.
And I agree with them.
I tend to be very nasty when I am angry, and my husband is usually the scapegoat.
Not because I particularly hate him (the opposite is the case) but just because he is the only one available to "accept my point" and make me feeling good again.
Very often is not so simple, more likely the opposite.
I get so aggressive that from a little argument we fall into a real war, but that is something Karl Moore doesn't talk about...
Arguing is not just a monologue...
Nevertheless, if you are looking for "spiritual inspiration" it pays to visit this interesting blog.

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