Tuesday, January 15, 2008

CES discovery

CES is filled with thousands of gadgets and lots of people to talk to. But most of these "new" products are really just moderate updates. So in case you missed the goodies in the wave of CES news, here's just our favorite stuff after the jump. Yes, lazy people—life takes care of you again!

Biggest TV:
Panasonic's 150-inch TV
We love it because: It makes us feel small.
Trouble is: You have to build your house around this TV.

Almost Big Enough:
31-inch OLED
We Love it because: OLED is the future, it's thinner, faster, deeper.
Trouble is: These prototypes are years away from being affordable.

Best Media Player:
iRiver Media Players
We Love it because: We thought they were all concepts, but they're
not. They're just incredible.

Best TV Tech:
Tie: 9mm Plasma the Blackest and Mitsubishi's Laser TV because it uses
We love it because: Pioneer's plasmas literally eat light. Lasers, cool.
Trouble is: Are we going to have to replace our plasma every year?

Coolest Geek:
Bill Gates Playing With Dolls Like in Spaceballs and on Windows Sucking
We love him because: Without him we wouldn't be here.
Trouble is: He's retiring! And when we asked him to play racquetball, Gates said he'd be washing his hair...for the next 30 years.

Making the Format War Irrelevant:
Samsung BP-U5500
We love it because: It makes the format war go away.
Trouble is: The format war may already be irrelevant. Best for those already entrenched in HD DVD

Best Ambush:
Blu-ray Winning the War by getting Warner to announce a change to Blu Jan 4th.
We love it because: Sony plays a good game of chess.
Trouble is: We prefer HD-DVD!

Nameless Women We Love:
Non-Booth Babe Babes
We love them because: Women should not be on display like TVs at this
Trouble is: We can't stare at them without feeling a little guilty.

Most Deceptively Dangerous Gadget:
Leopard Skin Taser with built in MP3 player
We love it because: It's the Frankenstein of gadgets.
Trouble is: We want to run it out of town with pitchforks and torches.

Best Ghetto Fabulous TV:
Vizio HDTV with Silicon Optix Reon inside
We love it because: A budget company went for some high end video scaling gear.
Trouble is: Can the rest of the set keep up with the Silicon Optix?
Reon chip?

Best Follow Up to Steve Jobs' Favorite Cameras:
Camcorders Panasonic HDC-SD9
We love it because: Tiny, 1080p, under $1000.
Trouble is: Sony+Canon=competition.

Best Propaganda:
Microsoft-at-Home Server Book
Low blow, Microsoft (which means it was perfect).

Sweetest Laptop
Asus Eee PC, 8.9-inch
We love it because: The only thing wrong with our Eee is the screen size.
Trouble is: Like Viagra bottles tell us, erections lasting over 8 hours require doctor consultations.

Best Insulting Robot
This Guy
War with robots? It's freakin' on! You'd better grow some lasers fast before we kick your...

Aigo Silverthorne-based system
We love it because: Intel Silverthorne chipset makes it tiny.
Trouble is: The early version we saw needs some polish.

Hottest Peripheral
Lasonic iPod Boombox
We love it because: Minimalist design is played out.
Trouble is: Boomboxes are too big for today's weak geeks to tote anywhere.

Most Pants-Worthy Phone
Sony Ericsson W350
We love it because: It has a sexy, thin design that takes a chance.
Trouble is: CES was absolute crap for phones.

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