Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Christmas preparations

The Broghammer family IS NOT like the MASS.
It is its main concern to point it out: we are different.
So that to better distinguish itself, the Broghammer family has to ACT differently.

Let's take Christmas as an example.
ALL people around have a Christmas tree, the Broghammers have Santa Claus.
All people have gifts under the tree, since the Broghammers do not have a tree, why bother to make gifts?
The only exceptions will be two nice (sober and simple) envelops with two checks that Mr. Broghammer will write (he is the one who is precise and NEVER makes mistakes, so not to waist a check)and Mrs. Broghammer will sign.
In order to do that Mr. Broghammer uses a ruler and calculates the centimetres from the beginning to the end of the handwriting, not forgetting the height, so that the number of letters which composes the name of the receiver or the sum of money written, is fairly distributed on the allowed space.
We usually write checks without decimals, so, being the name of the receiver much longer than the sum of money the space among the letters in the latter will be much bigger than the one in the name.
In order to achieve an harmonic balance, Mr. Broghammer mentally calculates where to begin and where to end.
I must say that, on the contrary of what people may think, sometimes writing a check IS NOT easier and faster than buying a gift.
All people run to buy presents and Panettone and Pandoro.
The Broghammers go on with the usual sober life.
Besides they are ALWAYS on a diet, why stopping at Christmas?
The usual exception will be that MRS Broghammer will bake a special Christmas cake.
It is really special, because, in spite of the fact that the recipe is always the same, the quantity of flour, butter, raisins, can change, because Mrs. Broghammer NEVER uses a scale and relies on her own sight, which can vary a lot depending on the fact of using a pair of glasses or not...
And that highly depends on where she left them the day before.
If she doesn't remember, she doesn't find them and why bother anyhow?
At Christmas you usually expect surprises, or don't you?
Besides she knows that her children are ALL very polite (with the exception of the son in law sometimes) and they WOULD NEVER say the cake IS NOT good.
As for Mr. Broghammer, as we say in Italy, has a "good mouth" and a good appetite (due to the perennial diet) and EVERYTHING or ALMOST is tasty and excellent in his opinion.
Especially the things his wife does, because they have that special virtue that goes under the name of "CHEAP" (compared to the factory made)...

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