Thursday, November 02, 2006

The new, right advertisements

All advertisements, particularly television advertisements, are utterly and hopeleessly boring.
They are too outspoken, too definite, too boastful.
Why not evolve a new style in television advertising instead of slavishly imitating the American style of breathless superlatives, with all their silly implications (buy our shampoo and you'll get a husband; buy our perfume and you are sure to be attacked by hungry males)?
I feel sure that the effect of these advertisements could be vastly improved if they were made more realistic.
Some ads, for example, could be given an undertone of gambling:

XYZ: it may relieve your headache. Or of course it may not. Who can tell? Try it. You may be lucky. The odds against you are only 3 to 1.


Try your luck on BMX fruit juice. Most people detest it, You may be an exception.

Or appeal to man's sense of fairness. A beautiful half-nude girl ( this is typical Italian) might call to the public:

S.O.S We are doing badly. Business is rotten, Buy our razors and give us a chance.
Honestly they are not much worse than other makes.

Or appeal to man's inborn honesty:

Use DXZ Washing Powder.
By the way, have you ever tried the whiteness test?
To be honest DXZ washes greyest, but after all people do not see your underwear (or they are not supposed to).

Or, just moderate your language.
Make no extravagant claims; be vague and incoherent, in other words, be natural:

Our chocolate is rather nourishing.
Never mind the taste.


Drink our beer. It's dirt cheap and you CAN get used to it.

Or else:

Can you tell the difference between our margarine and our hair tonic? WE can't...


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